….when you spend all day surfing the web. s’whew, this bookstore stuff is hard work.
or maybe it’s “this ignoring your bookstore responsibilities is hard work.” yeah, that’s more like it.
in fact, i’ve even started hoarding books all over the store and not just on our counters. the routine kinda goes like this: customer brings in “x” number of bags/and/or/boxes filled with books that are (choose one)
- positively awesome
- kinda good
- pretty bad
- absolutely horrendous
- oh my god, dude, seriously?
maybe we take in a tenth of “x” and the customer either takes the trade or the cash value; maybe they’ll buy another book or two, maybe not. or maybe we exchange evil glares at each other, one feeling they didn’t get enough and the other feeling like he paid out too much… or maybe there’s flirting – Crys and I are continually accusing one another of notorious flirting with our customers whenever the other is not around – “flirting” has yet to be fully proven or completely dismissed by either of us
(and if you ever feel as if Crystal, not Ronald, is flirting with you then please feel free to lightly smack her on the wrist and say “Bad Crissy!” )
anyway, books are bought and then they pile up, that’s what i’m getting at. and they’ve piled up to such a degree that now i’ve had to resort to hiding them in plain sight. unpriced, improperly shelved books are everywhere! “excuse me sir, how much is this copy of To Kill A Mockingbird that i found wedged within the Kentucky cookbook section? There doesn’t seem to be a price on it. $free.50, perhaps?”
“No. Perhaps not.” ”Three bucks.”
i mean, i think it definitely adds to the used book atmosphere to have a thousand hardbacks scattered haphazardly (but in a stylish kinda way) throughout the store. customers love picking through those piles with reckless abandon; they actually seem to enjoy it… as if they just might find some long, lost arcane tome stashed between the Jayne Ann Krentz and Jane Fonda’s autobiography.
- and for the romance novel novices, our romance section is being completely disavowed! only Fern Michaels and possibly Nora Roberts will survive the mushy, heart-throb onslaught. so come get the Krentz, and others, while she lasts!
people love to pick through the unassorted piles. so much so that i’m currently thinking about just strewing books across the floor like book-pressed land-mines and making ka-boom noises every time someone steps on one. “KA-BOOOM!!!! you hafta buy that one now.”
see: i’m doing it now.
p r o c r a s t i n a t i n g.
i could’ve had a hundred books cleaned, priced, and shelved in the amount of time it’s taken me to craft this entry. those of yall with grandkids will know that one episode of spongebob (which doesn’t get the red, squiggly line from spellcheck, by the way… and yet “yall” still does!) where s.b. is putting off writing an essay for his boating instruction class; the mailman makes a delivery and spongebob goes off on oratorical tangent that causes the mailman to say “don’t you have an essay to write?” – i admit to actually enjoying that episode the first 100 times i saw it, but somewhere during the other 200 viewings it kinda lost its mirth. but i’m that same way… i’ll spend 2 hours wasting away online then do 10 minutes of actual work when a much welcomed Friend-of-the-Fig will enter the store, giving me reason to cohort with him over sports, video games, television, and/or any-other-excuse-known-to-mankind to stop what i’m doing to carry on a conversation which will last just long enough for me to feel like it’s time for another 2 hour internet “break”. but what i secretly wish is for a customer to lean across the counter and say this “don’t you have an essay to write?” at which point, i’d get up and process some books (with only mild to middlin’ amounts of sass talk under my breath).
daggonit… one of our volunteers just showed up expecting me to have books for her to shelve; sooooooooooo, i guess this is it for now – the ruination of my day with the need for actual work eating away into my free time. i hope it gets a belly ache. the hazards of blogging live, i suppose.
come in and say “don’t you have an essay to write” to Ronald and he’ll give you $2 credit toward the purchase of any book, used or new. offer ends April 1st, 2013.